


Wishing It Was You

by wraithe



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: Angst and Drunken Smut, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 17:40:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10518630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wraithe/pseuds/wraithe
Summary: Juliet is tired of Shannon seeing her as just a friend.  Inspired by the K. Flay song "Wishing It Was You"





	

The amber liquid no longer burned as it went down. Unfortunately, the only things that were becoming number were my taste buds and maybe, a little bit my face, but none of the feelings I was trying to drown. Certainly not the voice in my head that repeated his name over and over like an incantation, an arcane attempt to summon him to me, to make him finally see me, to make him mine.

As I watched him grinding against her on the dance floor, jealousy threatened to bubble over. I think this one's name was Siobhan, she was the third girlfriend I had watched him go through since meeting him, not even mentioning his hook ups and near misses. Of course she was fucking perfect, drop dead gorgeous, toned and tanned just enough, dressed exactly on point, not a hair out of place even as she writhed against him. I didn't know her. She probably rescued puppies and orphans every day, pulling them from the debris of collapsed buildings while the wind blew her hair just so and her mascara never ran. I hated her.

I ordered another drink. The bartender gave me a long look. "I'm not driving I promise." She continued to look at me for a minute then poured what was left of the bottle into a fresh glass. "Whoever he is he's not worth it," she said as she cleared the empties away. I didn't reply, but I turned my back to the dancers, hoping if I quit staring at him my misery level would drop a notch or two. It did not. I stared into the whiskey and though about how much it looked like Shannon's eyes when the light hit them. Fuck.

I was so deep in my own private hell I didn't realize the song had ended until I felt a strong pair of arms around my waist. Shannon's scent engulfed me as he swung me around with a laugh. "Why aren't you out there dancing Jelly Bean?" He slipped between me and the bar and took a sniff of my nearly empty glass. "How many of these have you polished off tonight? Am I going to have to pour you into a cab?"

I snatched the glass out of his hand. "You don't have to do anything. I can take care of myself. I'm not your damn kid sister." I knew he was only trying to be his sweet, caring self but something in me had reached a breaking point. I saw the confusion on his face. I wanted to say more but then Siobhan was snuggling him and kissing his cheek and that angry little voice in my head turned into a scream and I couldn't stand there for one more minute. I grabbed my things and headed out of the party.

I had the car stop at the liquor store on the way home so I could buy a bottle of Jim Beam to keep me company on my wallow into self-pity. I had become a pathetic, love sick mess, a complete cliché. I barely ate or slept any more, my work was slipping, all I did was daydream about him. Sometimes I thought he felt something too, but he never treated me as anything other than a friend. "So glad I have you Jelly Bean," he would tell me as he wrapped me one of his trademark Shannon bear hugs. Not that being his friend was a bad thing. He was a wonderful guy to have in your corner. I just wished it were enough.

Once inside my apartment, I cranked my favorite brooding playlist, kicked off my heels and headed to the kitchen to grab a glass before deciding to just open the damn bottle. I was about to unzip my dress when the doorbell rang. I figured it was the neighbors about the music. I was stunned to open the door and find Shannon on the other side of the threshold.

"Jelly Bean...."

"Stop calling me that." I was In no mood for his infantilizing nicknames. I didn't need sweet, cuddly Shannon. I needed the Shannon of the wicked grins and dirty jokes. Mischievous Shannon. Shannon who might be willing to take a chance. Not big brother Shannon. I sighed. Abashedly, he started over.

"Juliet. I'm sorry to just barge in on you but you kind of had me worried back there. You've been so off lately." His face filled with concern and something else I couldn't quite read. "Is everything okay with you?"

"And if it isn't?" I headed back towards the living room and the comfort of my whiskey. Shannon followed, closing the door softly behind him.

"I'm here if you need someone. I wish you'd talk to me." I turned around to see him standing uncertainly in the hall. "Did I do something? You never talk to me anymore."

I knew he was right. I had been pushing him away for a while now, desperately trying to gain some even footing while I watched him parade girl after girl past. He had been my confidante and now I was treating him like he had betrayed my trust when he hadn't done anything wrong. It wasn't his fault he didn't see me the way I saw him. I couldn't seem to stop lashing out tonight, though. "Where is Siobhan? Is she waiting in the car while you come up here and soothe your conscience? Or did she head back to your place to warm your bed up for you?"

Shannon took a breath before responding. "Juliet, I don't know what's going on with you exactly, but..."

"Really? You really have no idea, Shannon? Not one clue?" I grabbed the bottle and started to take a swig but Shannon grabbed my hand. "Hey! Mine, not yours!"

"Please don't drink any more of that." He took the bottle and sat it on the coffee table. I saw the troubled look on his face but I was so over his protective streak. I blundered on.

"Why? Why shouldn't I get as fucked up as I want to be? What's it to you anyways?" Instead of drowning my feelings the bourbon seemed to have stirred all my emotions up, loosening my tongue along with them. "Jesus, you just cannot stop, can you? You've made it perfectly clear at this point that I'm just your buddy to look out for. So hooray. You checked up on me. I'm fine. You did your duty. Go have your fun with this week's blonde."

I could practically see the gears turning in his head, but I was wholly unprepared for what came next. "I'm asking you not to drink any more of that because if you get any more intoxicated I'm going to feel like I'm taking advantage of you," he placed his warm, broad palm against my cheek, "and that's the last way I'd want this to start my Jelly Bean." He brushed his lips against mine, the barest hint of a kiss. "Or am I completely off base here?"  
  
Blood rushing in my ears, not daring to breathe, I shook my head. "What about Siobhan?"  
  
Shannon smiled softly. "Probably still back at the party."  
"But she..."  
"Is a woman I spend a lot of time with, sure. It's not more than that. Which you would know if you hadn't been shutting me out." He brushed his lips over mine again, teasing. "Are you sure this is what you want Juliet? You won't sober up tomorrow and decide you've made a terrible mistake?"

"If I do it's my mistake to make," I tried to sound bold and fearless but my voice was as shaky as I felt. The bourbon bravado had gone out of me. I couldn't believe I was finally in his arms. I couldn't believe he finally saw me as something other than a friend, that he seemed to want me in the same way I had been wanting him for so long. "It's not like I just decided this tonight. I've thought of this sober a hundred times."

Shannon placed a soft kiss right below my hairline, then another slightly lower, and then a third on my cheekbone. "You only have to say stop. If you don't want this," His voice was low and husky with need now as his calloused thumb traced my lips. "Please want this."  
  
Finally, he kissed me like he meant it, lips parting as his tongue pressed into me, searching, claiming, pushing me into a tumble of sensation as he pulled me against him. I was too stunned still to fully respond, afraid I was imaging all this or that he would come to his senses and realize where he was. Maybe I hadn't been kidding myself when I thought he felt it too.

"I thought that... that you didn't..." Somewhat foggy from the large quantities of whiskey I'd been consuming all evening, my brain struggled to catch up with this change of direction. "I thought I was just your buddy."

"I'm sorry Jelly Bean." Shannon continued, kissing my face. "I've been so unbelievably dense. I thought you were pushing me away because you figured out I wanted more." He was kissing my neck now, small nibbles that traced their way up my jawline until I felt his warm breath at my ear. "And I want so much more."

That was all it took. I finally gave myself permission to fall. Knotting my fingers into his hair I kissed him with everything in me, pouring into him every ounce of desire I had swallowed over the last year. He responded as voraciously, probing deeply with his tongue, pulling my lower lip into his mouth to nibble. It was still not enough. I had wanted for too long, and judging from his reaction, he had too. I slipped my hands under his shirt, my fingertips gliding over the firm muscles on his sides and felt him groan into my mouth in response. Shannon's hands had begun an exploration of their own, one palm sliding slowly over my breast as the other made it's way under the hem of my dress, teasing the flushed skin of my thigh. The need was overwhelming, a burning knot deep in my core that that radiated out to every nerve ending with each breath. Still, I was unprepared for the ferocious tug as he whispered breathlessly in my ear, "So Juliet, do you want to move this to the bedroom or am I just going to take you right here?"

We stumbled our way across the apartment never breaking contact, discarding articles of clothing as we went. By the time we had reached my bedroom my dress and bra were gone and Shannon was in nothing but an unzipped pair of jeans riding scandalously low on his hips. I hooked my fingers into their belt loops and fell back onto the bed, pulling him with me. His mouth claimed me again as soon as we struck the mattress, moving down my chest with tiny little licks and nibbles until it found a taught nipple. Whether an artifact of passion or alcohol, my vision blurred as I arched into his touch, as if the lust was lighting the bourbon in my blood on fire, filling me with a heat that bubbled under his tongue and pooled in my sex.  
  
With a soft moan, he moved his kisses lower, slipping away my panties so that he could anchor his mouth at my slick core. "My god, Jelly Bean, you do taste just like candy." His rough hands pressed my thighs open, exposing my every secret as he bit his lower lip and grinned appreciatively. A broad stroke of his flattened tongue, a nibble that set goosebumps across my skin, agonizingly intense pressure as he sucked my hard nub into his mouth, everything blurred and collided as the pleasure claimed me, leaving me gasping his name. Still, months of wanting drew me further on.

I slipped from under him to come up to my knees and began removing his jeans. As I freed him from the fabric I couldn't resist trailing kisses down his firm stomach. When I finally brought my tongue against the underside of his broad shaft, I was rewarded with an appreciative groan. Voraciously I set upon him, laving and kneading with my tongue, feeling him thicken in response as he twisted his fingers into my hair. I looked up at Shannon as I worked. His eyes were heavy, the full lips I had so often dreamed of kissing were slightly parted, his powerful chest moving in time with his ragged breaths. I thought I had never seen anything more beautiful. I would have stayed on my knees like that for him for hours but he softly pulled me off of him. I started to protest but he stopped me with a quick kiss. "Fuck Juliet. As amazing as that felt, I am not ready to be done with you yet. And if you kept that up for one more minute I would have been."

He turned away to rustle through the clothing we had discarded and I realized he was retrieving a condom. I watched as he palmed himself for a few before rolling on the protective sheath. Then he was quickly on me again, settling his hips over mine as he stretched me out beneath him. Shifting against him so that his impressive cock pressed firmly against my own engorged and aching sex I ground against him, completely undone by my own profound craving for him.

"Please Shannon," I panted into his ear, "please. Now. I want you so much. Please."

He crashed his mouth against mine, a bruising kiss that stole that last of my thoughts. I attempted to reach for him but he pinned my wrists at my head. Caught in his powerful grip all I could do was wrap my legs around him, writhing as his length slid teasingly against my soaking folds. My body pleaded. Shannon looked down on me with that fiendish smirk of his, clearly enjoying my torment. I could see the keen desire in his own eyes though and I knew that whatever game he was playing now, it wouldn't be long before he would have to give in to his own appetite. I closed my eyes, sliding my body beneath him, and concentrated on the sensations – the firm press of his grip as he shifted my wrists to a single hand, his fingertips as they trailed down the tender underside of my arm, the heavy press of his firm abdomen, the brush of his broad chest against the hardened buds of my nipples, the tiny shocks from his touch that seemed to settle directly behind my clit, the powerful muscles of his thighs, pulled taught as he anchored me where he wanted me no matter how greedily I strained for him. I opened my eyes again to see the smirk was gone, a dark need in its place.

"Please..."

Shannon lowered his head to me again but instead of the kiss I was expecting I was met with the sharp bite of his teeth sinking into the tender curve of my neck. Crying out, I arched sharply into him only to impale myself onto his waiting shaft. I gave a hungry mewl of surprise. Shannon's large hands slid rapidly to my hips, steadying them in place as he surged forward. I found myself trembling as my body struggled to accommodate the sudden onslaught. He didn't spare me a minute to adjust, withdrawing and then diving in again. He was clearly going to waste no time in claiming what was finally his. If only I had known. We had both been so blind. Had wasted who knows how much time. I wrapped my limbs around him, pulling him into me as he continued his feverish pace. The sheer brutal strength of his passion left me in awe. I drew whatever bits of flesh I could reach into my mouth, covering him in kisses, reveling in the salty taste of his skin on my tongue. A graze of my teeth on his shoulder elicited a moan from him that vibrated my every nerve. I had never wanted anyone the way I wanted him. Each brush of his lips, each sigh, each groan, every touch, every thrust fueled rather than satiated. I was in a reverie. Need, lust, desire, these had all become molten things, surging through my veins and pushing me up and up until I shattered completely, my center convulsing tightly around him as I shouted his name.

"Juliet..." Shannon purred my name as he lurched forward. I felt him swell as his own release rushed upon him, his hazel eyes closing as he spilled into the thin sheath encasing him, a soft string of swear words stumbling from his lips. We gripped each other tightly as we finally stilled. As reality started edging back in, I felt a moment of panic that he would bolt, that he hadn't really wanted this the way I had, that maybe I was just another hookup. When Shannon moved away from me to leave the bed I felt tears starting to form behind my eyes and rolled over, turning my back to him. But he quickly returned, pressing into the curve of my back, his arm crossing my chest to pull me against him. Placing small kisses along my collar bone, he nuzzled against me softly before settling in with a sigh.

"My Jelly Bean."

I relaxed into him. "I always have been."

 


End file.
